iPhone 2.0 New Feature

I have a source deep within the bowels of Apple, I'll call her Deep Booty, and she says that the killer new iPhone feature that Steve Jobs will announce on Monday is that the phone will have a special reality distortion capability.

Whenever someone whips out the new iPhone, especially at a bar, whoever is within 10 feet of the person using it, will be immediately attracted to that person. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on persuasion), the phone will attract both men and women regardless of your orientation.