The Akbar & Jeff Mystical Chant

O Akbar, O Jeff, by the power of your enchanted fezzes, help me gain the love I deserve, help me get a job with long coffee breaks, and above all, help me to get rich quick. I thank you in advance even though you've done nothing for me yet. See ya tomorrow.

Fortune Cookie

Happier days are definitely ahead of you.

Fortune Cookie

Honesty and friendship bring you fortune.

Well, I can't argue with that.

Fortune Cookie

A friend in the market is better than money in the purse.

Yes, but a lot of money in the purse can buy a lot of friends.

Fortune Cookie

It is sometimes better to travel hopefully than to arrive.

Now I'm not sure about the use of the word "hopefully" in this fortune. It probably could have been left out.

Fortune Cookie
You were born with a "sixth sense" and superb insight.

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