iPhone 2.0 New Feature

I have a source deep within the bowels of Apple, I'll call her Deep Booty, and she says that the killer new iPhone feature that Steve Jobs will announce on Monday is that the phone will have a special reality distortion capability.

Whenever someone whips out the new iPhone, especially at a bar, whoever is within 10 feet of the person using it, will be immediately attracted to that person. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on persuasion), the phone will attract both men and women regardless of your orientation.

Gotta Read This

Microsoft to deactivate DRM servers

Koyaanisqatsi

1. Crazy Life
2. Life in Turmoil
3. Life Out of Balance
4. Life Disintegrating
5. A State of Life that Calls for Another Way of Living

The Akbar & Jeff Mystical Chant

O Akbar, O Jeff, by the power of your enchanted fezzes, help me gain the love I deserve, help me get a job with long coffee breaks, and above all, help me to get rich quick. I thank you in advance even though you've done nothing for me yet. See ya tomorrow.

Fortune Cookie

Happier days are definitely ahead of you.

Fortune Cookie

Honesty and friendship bring you fortune.

Well, I can't argue with that.

Fortune Cookie

A friend in the market is better than money in the purse.

Yes, but a lot of money in the purse can buy a lot of friends.